My Healing journey-Self-awareness

The Family Support System

It is important to me and my family that we support each other during the healing process. One of the things that I learned during my healing process is that I do have control over my feelings and it is okay for your son to feel sad, angry, etc. This is a part of the healing process which is very important for anyone overcoming illness. According to  O. Carl Simonton, “The difficult lesson to learn is not to judge yourself for having these feelings. Instead, accept the fact that you are experiencing them and attempt to suspend judgement” (p. 242). I had to learn how to be gentle which takes time and patience. I also am aware that everyone deals with crises differently and we need to honor this. When we had to handle the diagnosis of my son we went through several emotions. At first, I was not hearing what the doctor said because my emotions took over and I just held my breath. I remember feeling the knot in my stomach and I had to process everything that was said so I made notes while the doctor talked. The way how you receive the news from the sender is very important because this tells you how you will react. Dr. Maul was amazing and empathetic doctor who spoke slowly and calmly. I experienced other emotions as well that include fear for my son. He experience an array of emotions that included shock, disbelief, anger, frustration, sadness and unanswered questions. We had a open communication in the family in which we talked about how we felt. It was harder for my son to talk about this so I would coach him to just say what was on his mind and not to worry about what mom or dad will say. I honor his feelings and frustration because at the time he was a junior in high school whose main concern was completing his assignments and passing his classes. It is very important to listen to your loved ones and through your silence you can encourage your loved ones to share their feelings.  I also had to learn to let my son attend to his own feelings while I attend to mine because I wanted him to be an active part of his own recovery.  My son was more concern about losing his hair and I would comfort him that God will take care of him and not to worry about it. I also reassured him that his dad was bald so he would not be the only one bald. But during his treatment his hair did not fall out which I thanked the lord for answering our prayers.  I also encouraged him to take care of himself which included participating with him during exercise, walking and meditation.

Learning and growing

As I embrace each day, I thank the lord for waking me up and going before me every day. According to Simonton, et al. ” Despite the very serious problems you are facing, if you are willing to confront openly and honestly the experience of dealing with the life-threatening disease of your loved one, the experience  may contribute to your own personal growth” (p.260).  We have surely learned so much each day and as my son recovers from this ordeal we have learned to check in with each other during the course of his recovery. This month he goes back for a CT scan which is  a normal routine to check the patient after treatment and I know that all is well.

Feeling good together: How to strengthen relationship through better communication

At times communication  is a struggle for anyone in any relationship and it may seems as if it is easy but it is not. We must become better communicators which starts by “expressing your feelings openly and directly; and encourage the other person to express his or her feelings” (Burns, D.1999, p. 364).  Communication is a two way street where one listens while the other is talking. At times I have trouble with this, but I am getting better at listening more and more each day. It is important to listen to each other which is a daily practice in my family. At times it is not easy, but through guidance and encouragement we will get better.

My final thoughts

Truly grateful for waking up each day and thankful for the support from family and friends. As we go about our day each day, commit to making someone smile and remember that God love you. Treasure the moments spent with loved ones and friends and continue making memories. You are amazing! In addition, remember to notice your body which alerts you when you need to take it easy and do something fun. Going for walks along the lake is the best therapy for me while listening to the surroundings. Choose something to do and explore nature. Live life to the fullest.

 

References:

Burn, D.D., (1999). The Feelling Good Handbook. Penguin Group.

Simonton, O.C., Simonton-Matthew, S., & Creighton, J.L. (1992). Getting Well Again.A Step-by Step, Self-help guide to overcoming cancer for patients and their families. Bantam Books, New York.

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My Healing Journey

On April 14th it will be 8 months since his last chemotherapy and he is feeling better and better each and every day. One of the mishaps from having chemo is short-term memory which he gets on a daily basis, but he is managing it well. He is a senior now and prom is coming up. I am so happy to see the joy on his face when he showed me his prom tickets. He just says, “Mom, this is just something that we all get dressed up for one day and I am thankful that I will be there.” Life gives us things that we at times believe we cannot handle. But trusting God is the main focus when life gets to me.

It’s the month of April, but the weather is not cooperating; however as you can see the flowers are finally peeping out. This is a sign of new growth which means a lot for me. In 1 Peter 5:10 it says,” And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”Image

Jeremiah 30:17 says, ” For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee and outcast, (saying), This (is) Zion, whom no man seeketh after.”  Psalm 51:12 says, ” Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me (with thy) free spirit.”

My son was healed not only because of his faith, but because he put all his trust in the Lord. At times, it seems as if this healing would not happen, but I focused on what God promised me and he said, ” All is well.” I carry this statement with me throughout the months that my son was in treatment and I still hold on this God’s promise.  In Isaiah 41:10 it says, “Fear thou not; for I (am) with thee: be not dismayed; for I (am) they God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of righteousness.”

The Lord is my redeemer and I call upon the name of Jesus in times of distress. There is power in the name of Jesus, don’t let your thoughts be swayed. Reach out and talk to the lord. He has been there for me and my family and as we continue to spread the word of his and devotion to us all. I trust that you will believe and receive all things through Christ that strengthens you.

On a final note, as we treasure the moments and the presence of the Lord in our lives. I pray for each and everyone of you that reads this blog. I know that there are times that we cannot do it, but know that I am always here for you. Be encourages so that you can encourage others. The time has come for us to get ready because The King is Coming…

My Healing journey

Well, I picked up a new hobby which is knitting and I have been caught up with this so much that I made some scarves for my mother and friends. I also started to make hats as well which was a challenge because I had to re-do the hat at least 6 times! This has thought me about being patient with myself and I am learning much about the details and pleasure while making hats. I found a new site to purchase my yarns because after visiting a retailer I was not impressed with their selections. Some of the colors that I have made for my scarves include red, pink, green, white and multicolor green mixed with blue. Image

Now as I continue to knit, I will search for other things that I can make to pass the time away. We are having a winter filled with snow ever weekend. What do you do to pass the time away besides watching t.v.?

I also exercise which in the past was 5 days per week, but then my knee began to hurt so I had to slow down. I picked up exercise when my son began his chemo treatments which helped me to relax and sleep. We both exercised together which is a lot of fun and wore us both out. Life brings us challenges which at first we may question, but in the end we know that the Lord will bring us through it. Over a year ago, my world changed and I am happy that I handled it the best way I could by inspiring myself to get through the day. Every day I would pray and sing songs of praises which helped me to cope with the challenges of watching your son go through his chemo treatments. This was a long exhausting day which took several hours and we both remember the last chemo treatment and how much joy we felt that it was over.

Life makes us or breaks us, but its up to the individuals to hang in there and call out to the Lord. He is forever working on our behalf. All we need to do is to ask and we shall receive. Patience is the key to understanding how God works so be patient with the process and know that in the end you will have a testimony to share so that you can inspire others.

Remember to reach out and get the support needed while going through your challenges and just be still and watch God work it out. To God Be The Glory Great Things He Has Done! Amen!

Thank you lord for healing my son and your presence in our lives. We glory you Lord and look forward to working on your behalf. Continue to minister to us so that we can tell others about your love and support. 

My Healing journey

Today, I am happy to report that the healing has begun since my son’s last chemo therapy in August 2013. I have taken care of him for the past 8 months and now I can take the time to heal from our journey.

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As I begin to take the time to recollect, how much we have conquer during my son’s treatment. We kept each other through daily devotions, praying, meditating, walking, exercising and encouraging each other to be strong. This reminds me of my husband’s career and their motto “Army Strong.” We can surely relate this this in more ways than one.  Some of the strategies that we used to cope also included attending a expressive  art therapy that was held at the cancer care center where my son received his most of his treatments.  We made collages, colored, sketched, learned to knit etc. We had a blast with the various types of activities offered and hope that expressive art therapy will be permanent soon. We took each day as a day of gratitude and were very thankful for the strength of my son who did not loose his hair or any other side effects besides his finger nails getting black. We are truly grateful for the presence of the angels as he continue to bring a smile to the nurses, doctors, front desk employees and whomever came in contact with.

We are also thankful that we all used positive statements throughout his treatment which helped to cope, even when he was hospitalized for 5 days due to pneumonia which at the time no one was sure what was going on because he had a fever. During his first 3 days in the hospital, we encouraged each other and I remember on the third day the fever broke that night. My son was tired of this and began to feel down so I ask the lord to intervene and stretched my hands out towards him and asked for healing. Instantly he began to sweat and he changed his robes at least 3 times. The fever was gone and his healing began. I praised the lord while my son began to say positive things and he became well. The power of YOUR words are truly a testimony to my son who listened as I coached him to take over and be strong.

This journey has actually made me reach out to nature as you can see I have included a picture of the willow tree in our back yard and how much it meant to me. The willow tree represented the times that we were weak and began to rejuvenate and we began to nourish our bodies.  I also began to visit the lake and would just sit and look at the lake which calmed my inner voice which at times was in turmoil.

Here is a picture of the lake

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