Today, I am happy to report that the healing has begun since my son’s last chemo therapy in August 2013. I have taken care of him for the past 8 months and now I can take the time to heal from our journey.
As I begin to take the time to recollect, how much we have conquer during my son’s treatment. We kept each other through daily devotions, praying, meditating, walking, exercising and encouraging each other to be strong. This reminds me of my husband’s career and their motto “Army Strong.” We can surely relate this this in more ways than one. Some of the strategies that we used to cope also included attending a expressive art therapy that was held at the cancer care center where my son received his most of his treatments. We made collages, colored, sketched, learned to knit etc. We had a blast with the various types of activities offered and hope that expressive art therapy will be permanent soon. We took each day as a day of gratitude and were very thankful for the strength of my son who did not loose his hair or any other side effects besides his finger nails getting black. We are truly grateful for the presence of the angels as he continue to bring a smile to the nurses, doctors, front desk employees and whomever came in contact with.
We are also thankful that we all used positive statements throughout his treatment which helped to cope, even when he was hospitalized for 5 days due to pneumonia which at the time no one was sure what was going on because he had a fever. During his first 3 days in the hospital, we encouraged each other and I remember on the third day the fever broke that night. My son was tired of this and began to feel down so I ask the lord to intervene and stretched my hands out towards him and asked for healing. Instantly he began to sweat and he changed his robes at least 3 times. The fever was gone and his healing began. I praised the lord while my son began to say positive things and he became well. The power of YOUR words are truly a testimony to my son who listened as I coached him to take over and be strong.
This journey has actually made me reach out to nature as you can see I have included a picture of the willow tree in our back yard and how much it meant to me. The willow tree represented the times that we were weak and began to rejuvenate and we began to nourish our bodies. I also began to visit the lake and would just sit and look at the lake which calmed my inner voice which at times was in turmoil.
Here is a picture of the lake
Today, I am finally blogging about my first book which is an inspiration book to help parents work through their challenges in everyday life. At times, we are faced with sickness, death, lost of job, lost of trust, lack of fulfilling relationship and the list continues. However, through all of our challenges there are a few things we should be prepared to do. First, our bodies are the first to alert us when something is wrong and if we do not listen to it we will not know how to handle the challenge that is before us. We all deserve peace which comes through patience and understanding. Many times we will question “why” but lately my “why” have become “What is next?”
One day my “what next” happened to my family and we will never be the same. That day, we went to the doctor for a check up to see what was wrong with my son. He had ongoing fevers, legs swollen and lost a lot of weight, then after that visit that is when my world turned. We went to get an ultrasound and that evening the technician called me to talk to the doctor who was on the other line and my hands began to shake. I heard what the doctor said, but, my mind was elsewhere saying “oh no this is not happening to me?” We later had a biopsy scheduled and the medical staff all scrambled around us. My son was given a packet about cancer and we waited for the results from the biopsy. The wait was terrible, my womb felt as if I was giving birth to my son again. The news came and we all were in shock, he had Hodgkin Lymphoma at that time we did not know the stage nor did we wanted to hear anything else. We listened as the doctor gave his speech and at that moment we all heard bits and pieces of “Hodgkin Lymphoma”. We didn’t feel as if we were in the room. My mind traveled and I remember hearing the Lord saying to me ” I got this! Now move over!” I hesitated, but knew that this was out of my control and did what was best and listened to the Lord.
Now, this is just a peek about my son’s story and my own challenge being a mother and counselor. I tossed between being a mother and a counselor and used some of my own coping skills to help me through my son’s illness. I listened to my heart which gave me a scare a couple a weeks during his chemo. I listened to my heart and began to watch my breathing. I inhale love and exhale fear. When I calmed down, I felt much better. This leads me to say “It’s okay, just let the feelings come out.” I shed a tear and the healing began. I still at times experience the feeling of tension in my womb, but this is different now. Elmar Vogt writes ” I still experiencer this tension in my stomach, but it is different than before that meditation. I experience it as the despair of the little boy in my mother’s womb not feeling safe again.” (Thich Nhat Hanh, Reconcilation:healing the inner child). These tensions that we feel is not only me, but it from many generations of my family. We need to know how to release this energy through mediation which helps me to be in tuned with my body as I breathe in love, I feel my breath, I noticed my tension and breathing out, I open that issue. I breathing in again, letting go of that issue and breathing out I embrace the energy within my body. I become aware of my body and what I am feeling and I lovingly embrace it so that I can release the tension in my body. Vogt from Thich Nhat Hanh Reconcilation: healing the inner child stated that ” Sometimes the energy in the body and feelings can seem impenetrable or overwhelming. In that case, we can touch the difficult feeling or situation for a short time, perhaps twenty seconds to a minute. Then we can open our eyes and rest our attention on something outside us for a few minutes”…such as looking at the window at the trees. (Thich Nhat Hanh, 2010, p. 143-144).